


While I'm Happy

by FanboyWriter



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 07:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanboyWriter/pseuds/FanboyWriter
Summary: *ENDGAME SPOILERS*If Loki and Thor were on Vormir instead of Natasha and Clint to retrieve the soul stone.Parts have Loki friendship with the other Avengers LIKE WE DESERVED.





	While I'm Happy

"Thanos found the Soul Stone on Vormir." Nebula's eyes connected with the floor, remembering how Gamora had given up the stone's location to save her.  
"What is Vormir?" Natasha asked.  
"The dominion of death, at the very center of celestial existence. it's where... Thanos murdered my sister."  
Loki's eyes flashed towards the cyborg. He remembered how Thanos had clutched his neck and "killed" him five years ago. The cold dead stare Thanos wore when he did it. Loki was lucky, his regeneration powers barely saving him just before the guardians grabbed him and Thor. Loki had known both Gamora and Nebula from his time with Thanos back in 2012. He sympathized with Nebula, seeing himself in her, both trying to outdo their shining siblings. Then, upon meeting them again he bonded with the both over their hatred of Thanos. He considered them friends. He had heard how Thanos killed Gamora before, but now hearing Nebula describe Vormir as "the dominion of death" Loki felt that he realized something awful. Cool blue eyes scanned around the room. Some of them were slightly wary of Loki, but the past five years of him co-ruling Asgard with Thor have shown he has truly changed his ways. Loki talked quite often with Nebula, Tony, Bruce, and now recently he had bonded with Scott as well. He and Steve had a weird relationship, but Loki appreciated the effort Steve put in to give him pep talks ever so often. Natasha and Clint sometimes seemed tense, but they shared stories of their past crimes and forgave Loki for his. Rocket shared a humorous relationship with Loki, the two would play pranks on Thor ever so often. Rhodey didn't speak to Loki all that much, but his sass reminded him of Tony, so they got along when they were around one another. Although Loki found it hard to make friends with the Avengers at first, they had slowly accepted him and he was glad to be a part of something he could consider a family, besides Thor anyway. When the sorcerer finally tuned back into the conversation he heard Cap.  
"So it's settled," Steve's voice came with certainty, " Tony, Scott, Bruce and I will be going to New York to retrieve the mind stone, space stone, and time stone. Rhodey and Nebula will go to Morag for the power stone. Thor, Loki, and Rocket will go to Asgard to get the reality stone from Jane Foster. Clint and Nat will go to Vormir for the soul stone."  
"If I might interject," Loki calmly said. Eyes turned to the God of Mischief. "I believe it would be a better idea for Barton and Romanoff to assist the rabbit on Asgard, while Thor and I go to Vormir."  
"Why would you suggest that?" Thor's voice was a bass drum compared to his younger brothers'. "Well," Loki continued, his silver tongue at work, "not to disregard our agents skills, but both of them are simply human. To send them to an completely foreign planet with danger we do not know of seems inefficient. As well as sending Thor and I to a place so personal. Our mother died on that day. We might see friends who are now gone." Loki turned to Thor. "I do not know how I might react to seeing her again. Or even the warriors three. Or Heimdal.. We might do something to try and bring them back, causing a problem." The God of Thunder sighed. "My brother is right, sending us back to old Asgard may be too much for us. We can draw a map of the palace for you instead."  
"Sounds good to me," Nat agreed, " just as long as we get the stones, it doesn't matter how."  
"Whatever it takes," Steve stated.

Everyone has dispersed to put on their matching uniforms. Bruce was tinkering with the machine along with Scott, making sure everything was still in working condition. Loki approached the two. "How many times have you two checked that? You'll end up breaking it if you meddle too much."  
"Sad to say I agree with reindeer games over here," Tony popped in, "all of my calculations are crystal clear, this is gonna work." A small grin cracked on Loki's lips, "Anthony, always a charmer."  
"Well, who said you had to pick between beauty or brains?" Stark played along. "Certainly not I," the silver tongue boasted, flipping a black curl over his shoulder. Loki's smile turned sad, knowing what soon was to come. "Be careful in New York. All three of you," he said, turning to look at Bruce and Scott as well. Steve joined the little group, with Natasha at his side. "Don't worry. I'll make sure all goes according to plan. Nothing is gonna stop us from getting those stones." Loki admired the determination in his eyes. "I believe you. I still send you good luck, Captain."  
"I appreciate it, Loki. You take care of that brother of yours too," Steve replied with a little smirk. The dark haired God nodded, then directed his attention to Nat. "Were the instructions Thor gave you sufficient by the way? If they do not make sense I can redraw them for you."  
"I think it's fine, but thank you. Also for taking Clint and I's spot on Vormir. I'm worried about losing him. He needs to get back to his family."  
"And so do you," Loki replied, "These people need you."  
"We all need each other," Natasha assured, putting a soothing hand on Loki's elbow. Smiling, the sorcerer reached up and squeezed her hand back. Rhodey and Nebula joined the group and as did Thor, Rocket sitting on his shoulder. "Well isn't this a nice moment, not like half the universe is depending on us," Rocket blurted. "We have all the time in the world, sweet rabbit," Thor stated, gesturing to their time devices. Nebula, understanding how desperately Rocket wanted to guardians back, placed a hand on his head. "We're getting them back. Quill, Drax, Mantis.. Groot." Rocket's eyes teared up slightly. "We better."  
"Maybe, even Gamora," Loki stated, taking a step towards Nebula and Rocket, "If there is anything I can do on Vormir to bring her back I will do it. I promise."  
"But do not put yourself in any unnecessary danger," Thor protectively said.  
"Of course." Loki faked a smile. He did not want to do this to Thor, but if his assumptions were right there would be nothing else to do.  
Rhodey squeezed Tony's shoulder. "I wish I was going with you, but I hope you won't do anything stupid while I'm not there to stop you."  
"I'll do my best Rhodes. Don't worry, I already survived through it all once. i'm gonna get back in just enough time to read Morgan a bedtime story," Stark reassured, slapping Rhodey on the arm. Natasha exchanged hugs with Clint, Bruce, Steve, and Tony. Bruce held onto Nat for slightly longer, but was gentle due to his size. "You.. be careful," he said with a shy beam. "You too. I'd say try to not be noticeable but.."  
"I'll do my absolute best to not smash anything," Banner laughed. Rocket and Nebula gave each other encouraging glances. Rhodey patted Scott on the back. "Good luck regular size man."  
"All of this wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for you starting this idea, Scott," Steve added, "Although Tony fully figured out time travel, if it weren't for you suggesting the idea in the first place it wouldn't have been possible."  
"Thank you, Cap," Scott gushed, looked around at everyone's approving grins. "I'm just glad to be part of the team."  
Thor twirled storm breaker in his hand and smiled at Loki. "Are you ready for this, brother?"  
"Absolutely. Death is my forte you know."  
"You two better make it back alright. I'd hate for Asgard to fall on angry girl," Bruce half joked.  
"Ah Valkyrie will be fine! Soon we will be back in Asgard with all of our friends, and we will feast! We will do it right this time. I won't mess things up this time." Thor was determined. He wouldn't make another mistake again. Thanos will not win again. No matter what.  
"We all failed, Thor," Cap reassured, "The burden is not just on you,"

Everyone stood upon the platform and Steve started to give a small speech. "Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends… We lost family… We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know. But it doesn’t mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives."  
"And we're gonna win," Tony added.  
"Whatever it takes. Good luck."  
Rocket nodded. "He's pretty good at that."  
"Right?!" Scott grinned.  
Everyone put their fists in the middle.  
Natasha smiled at Steve. "See you in a minute."  
Loki took one last glance at everyone around him, before they were sent back in time.

Vormir was beautiful. The planet was blanketed in orange purple light. There appeared to be a solar eclipse shining down on the two brothers. The surface of the planet was covered in waves of sand dunes and water. "This is.. different," Thor breathed in slight awe. "Very. Let's be careful."  
The two walked close together towards the huge mountain, and slowly began to climb. Loki heard a noise above them, quickly unsheathing his dagger. Thor's grip on stormbreaker tightened. "Who's there?" the golden boy called. A dark cloaked figure appeared, slowly drifting in front of the two Odinsons. "Thor and Loki. Sons of Odin and Frigga of Asgard."  
Loki felt dread grip at him. "How do you know us?" Thor snarled, moving in front of Loki.  
"It is my curse to know all who arrive on Vormir. To lead them to a treasure in which I cannot have."  
"The soul stone," Loki whispered, half smiling to hide his emotions. Very poorly.  
"Precisely," the red faced figure started to drift further up the mountain. Thor gave Loki a strange look before they followed suit. They were lead between two large rectangular pillars at the top of the mountain. Loki quietly approached the edge and looked down. Thor frowned, turning back to the hooded figure. "What is this?"  
"Down there is what you seek."  
Loki's grip on his dagger tightened, eyes starting to tear up slightly as he heard the next sentence.  
"But only for one of you."  
"What does that mean?" the blond hissed.  
"A soul for a soul," Loki answered for the hooded figure, not turning to look at either of them.  
"You can't mean.."  
"You must sacrifice that which you love most," the red skull finished.  
Loki blinked, causing his tears to fall down his cheeks. He finally turned towards Thor. "That's why Gamora died here."  
"What you... You KNEW?! That's why you wanted us to come here?!" Thor stomped towards Loki, gripping his wrist and pulling him away from the cliff. Loki smiled at him through his tears. "If it were Natasha and Clint then.. it most likely would've been Natasha to die."  
"Loki no. There must be another way around this. It isn't possible!" Thor turned towards the mysterious figure, lightning in his eyes. "What if we just threw HIM over?"  
"This is magic. You can't cheat magic like this. If anyone could think of a way around this it would be me, brother."  
"You're not doing this," Thor sternly said, grasping the side of Loki's neck. His blue and brown eyes were sad and terrified. "I've lost you.. three times. Loki. After all we've been through. It is my job to protect you."  
"So you'll have me throw you over?" Loki forced a laugh, "They need you more than me."  
"That is not true. Asgard wouldn't be as great as it is if you weren't there to help me. You've made friends. You're an Avenger now. They all care about you. Val, Korg, Bruce, Nebula, Tony, Nat, Scott.." he trailed off, realizing he could just name everyone.  
"And brother that is why it must be me. They were so gracious to accept me. To let me become one of them. And you.. never gave up on me. Although our childhood wasn't always the best and.. we had some rough times, these last five years that you and the avengers have given me have been.. absolutely incredible," Loki's voice cracked and he reached up to squeeze both of Thor's arms. "This is how I will repay that debt! You know it must be me! Everyone else.. they have family they need to get back to."  
"And you are the only family I have left!" Thor shouted, his eyes beginning to water as well, "You will leave me to rule Asgard alone?! Leave me to grieve for you a FOURTH time?!"  
"There's no other way," Loki whispered, "you can't leave without that stone."  
"And why can't it be me instead? Loki this new life you have created for yourself. You deserve to live it. Remember what mother always told me? "Watch out for your little brother." I haven't always been there for you. You've had to die.. so. many. times. I was always helpless and couldn't save you. Let me save you this time. I can't lose you again... I can't lose you forever."  
Loki let out a half hysterical laugh, falling into a hug with his brother. Thor's big arms squeezed Loki so hard he could barely breathe, but he didn't bother to fight against him. "Loki.. let it be me. I will fight you if I have to but.. I'd rather just go peacefully. Just.. let me go. And live your life for me. Be happy. Keep fighting for me." The younger God took a deep breath, his tears wiping off on Thor's shoulder. "Okay. Alright. You stubborn oaf, you win." Loki pulled away slightly to look at his older brother with a defeated smile.  
"Thank-" A dagger was embedded into Thor's side, before he could finish. Thor fell to one knee, groaning.  
“Tell them I did it for them. And that I love them. And I love you, my brother. I’m sorry.” Loki quickly whispered. He spun around, black curls whipping around his red puffy face, but determination in his eyes. He starting to run towards the edge. Everything slowed down.  
“NO!” screamed Thor, he reached out slamming a bolt of lightening in front of Loki, knocking him on his back. The blond ripped the dagger from his side and began to charge towards the edge. Loki huffed, unleashing some snakes to trip his brother.  
“Huh, are you ever not going to fall for my tricks, brother?” Loki dryly laughed, pushing himself off the ground. He ran. Leaping off the edge. Closing his eyes and accepting what was to come.  
But he stopped.  
Thor had jumped after him, grabbing him and shoving stormbreaker into the side of the mountain, to keep them both from falling.  
“Damn you Loki!” Thor growled, holding onto Loki’s wrist as tight as he could.  
“Brother..” Loki begged, looking up at him. They both got a flashback to when all of this started. Back before Loki had fallen in the hands of Thanos. Before their mother died. Before Asgard was destroyed. When Loki was hanging off the Bifrost so long ago. Loki had let go then and Thor could go nothing. Now here Thor was, trying everything in his power to save his brother. So long ago had that happened. They were so young. So naive. They both had grown so much since then. They had become enemies. Then learned to become brothers again. They learned to work together. They became Kings together. They had rebuilt their home. They had fought for their people. No matter what it was always Thor and Loki.  
“We are supposed to fight side by side forever!” Thor desperately tried once again, “This isn’t what mother would want for you Loki!”  
“Or you!”  
“We can just.. Go. Neither of us have to die. We can just leave, Loki. We can go back to Asgard.”  
“Remember when I let go of the Bifrost? And what I got stabbed by the dark elf? And when Thanos strangled me?”  
“What are you talking about of course I do!”  
“All of those times I felt hopeless. I let go because I felt I had no purpose if father didn’t accept me. When I was stabbed I felt it didn’t matter because if I died I could just be with mother again. When Thanos strangled me I was scared you wouldn’t get away and he would kill you too. I felt dread looking into his cold dead eyes, the man who had tortured me for years. Every single time I felt.. Hopeless. But this time. This time I have hope, Thor. If I did not believe you all could do it I would not sacrifice myself. I am.. Happy. I know this will hurt you. I do not WANT to leave you, brother. I have cheated death so many times, but I knew that I had to die here today. It is not yours or anyone else's time. You will grieve for me once again, but you are the strongest avenger. You are. You’re the God of Thunder. The almighty Thor Odinson. And you’re going to let me go. You’re going to get that stone. You’re going to bring it back to them. And you’re all going to win. Don’t let me die in vain. Let me go when i’m finally happy to go.”  
Thor’s hands shook on Loki’s wrist and on stormbreaker. Memories from when they were children began flashing before him. Loki and him going on their first adventure around Asgard. Loki’s first magic pranks. The late nights they’d sneak out of their rooms to steal food. The bedtime stories their mother would read to them. Loki and Thor meeting the warriors three and Sif. The times Loki would have to help tutor him in school. The times Thor taught Loki self defense tips for hand to hand combat. The times they’d bribe Heimdal to not tell their parents certain things. All of the times Loki had saved their lives with his magic. All of the jokes they shared. The battles they fought through. The arguments. Their time spent ruling Asgard together. Seeing Loki making friends. It all was happening so fast. Why was the world so cruel? Thor’s only family left. The only thing he still had from his past besides his name.  
“I..” Thor trailed off. There was nothing more he could say. Even the stubborn Thor Odinson knew that when Loki set his mind to something there was no changing it. Loki was doing this no matter what he had to do. Loki was sacrificing himself to save everyone. To repay his newfound friends for everything they’ve done for him. So he could finally die with hope and happiness in his heart instead of fear and hopelessness. So that Thor could live on knowing his brother was a hero.  
“I know. I know,” Loki muttered comfortingly, squeezing his older brother’s arm. “Don’t be scared. Don’t be sad. Smile for me. I’m going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”  
Thor forced a laugh and gave Loki the most genuine smile he could muster, tears still streaming down his face. If Loki was going to die he should do his best to comfort his brother too. Thor rubbed his thumb gently against the sorcerer’s forearm. “I will. I promise. For you. I will keep fighting for you.”  
With one last mischievous grin from the God of Mischief, and one last little squeeze of the arm, Loki kicked off the side of the cliff, slipping from Thor’s grip and falling all the way down to the bottom of the mountain. Dying immediately on impact. Thor looked away, wanting his last memory of Loki to be of him smiling, not of his dead body. He cried, squeezing his eyes shut, knowing that his brother was gone for good this time. The clouds above him shined bright and he was immediately teleported into a puddle of water. In his hand was the soul stone. Thor continued to cry, holding the stone against his chest. Not even the forces of the universe could pry the stone from Thor’s grip. Loki’s death would not be in vain. Thor would do anything and everything to ensure their victory.

“Thor, where’s Loki?” Tony asked upon everyone’s return. The blond was still gripping the soul stone to his chest. He had stopped crying, but his face was still red and splotchy. His long hair was a wet mess. “Loki knew why Thanos left without Gamora. A soul for a soul. He sacrificed himself so no one else had to.”  
“Thor..” Bruce whispered in disbelief, taking a step towards the blond.  
“I tried so hard for it to be me. I fought him. He wouldn’t let me. He wouldn’t let it be anyone else. He said it had to be him because you all had given him such a great life the past five years and.. This was how he would repay that debt. He did it for us. He said that.. He loves all of you.” Thor squeezed his eyes shut, and Bruce wrapped his arms around him. Natasha covered her mouth, realizing that Loki had saved either hers or Clint’s life, she started to cry. Tony took a seat on the ground and ran his fingers through his hair, then punched the ground. “Damn it!” he hissed. Rhodey crouched down and squeezed Tony’s shoulder. Nebula was shaking. She had lost both Gamora and now Loki in the same way. Vormir was a cursed planet. She wanted to destroy it. Scott stared at the ground in disbelief. Rocket threw his gun to the side. “We have the stones now don’t we?! Let’s just bring him back!”  
“It doesn’t work that way,” Thor murmured, Bruce still holding him tight. Steve took a breath and spoke up, “Without Loki doing what he did.. We wouldn’t have all six infinity stones. Because of him, we are going to get everyone back. Loki’s sacrifice was for the universe. He will be remembered.”  
Thor laughed a little. “We could build a statue for him. I know he would want that. With his helmet with the big bendy horns.” Bruce patted Thor’s back. “We will do that for him. But for now let’s make sure we can get everyone back. Can I see this?” he gestured to the stone in Thor’s death grip. Slowly, the God of Thunder handed it to Banner. Thor turned away and sat down. “For Loki,” he whispered.


End file.
